OPPORTUNITY OF A GODDAMNED LIFETIME
I thought that might get your attention. You. Yes, you. Hey, can you hear me? Okay, maybe "hear me" isn’t the right phrase, but are these words making it into your head? If so, nod yes. Hey! Don’t ignore me. I can see you staring at the screen so I know that on some level you’re hearing these words. Okay I’m just going to assume you can hear me. I mean what else can I do really? If you’re not listening, it’s really your loss, as you’ll find out in a minute. Well, if you are listening then you’ll find out that it would have been your loss if you hadn’t been. If you’re not listening you’ll just never know how incredible of an opportunity passed you up. The opportunity of a goddamned lifetime. Like I said.
So. What’s the opportunity? Well, I’ve got this thing I need some help with. It’s not a big thing. And like I hinted at a second ago, you’ll end up getting a huge payoff out of this as well. Actually you’ll probably end up coming out of this even better than me! But why am I asking you, specifically? Well, I’ve been keeping my eyes open and when I saw you I just had this feeling that you might be interested in this. Just like I am. I’ve kept my eyes on you for a while now and I’m really pretty sure that you are, but I’m not gonna say it outright, right here in public where anyone could hear. Hah, I see that expression on your face. I knew you’d be interested. You’re not the type to pass up the opportunity of a goddamned lifetime. So here’s what I need you to do. First, I need you to email me. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org (sorry, old email address) and include your name, phone number, and address. After that I’ll email you back some more details. From there, I’ll ship... Well, no, we better not talk about that just yet. I’ll wait until you email me. But please email soon. We have a lot of work to do and I’d like to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later. We really don’t want to miss the time-window on this! After all it’s the opportunity of a goddamned lifetime.